Archive | March 2014

Spam and Scam

A message showed up in my inbox this morning, allegedly from “TRS Staffing Solutions”, which is a real company. This is the text of the message:

A first-class specialty logistics company that is long-lasting represented in more than 10 countries throughout Europe, is employing a full- and part- time employees to assist their growing dynamic and creative team in United States market.

They are looking for a talented team player to fill the open position of Purchasing Specialist.
They offer you a fast-paced work environment, highly competitive salary and turbulent career.

Employment Form: Full- and Part- time
Wage Range: $54,600.00 – $80,200.00/year. The salary is highly competitive and conformable with experience
Career Category: Management
Benefits package available: Health & Life Insurance; Paid Vacation Plan; 401k Retirement Plan; Good Home Time
Relocation Offered: No Relocation required

Key Responsibilities:
– Coordinates supply chain operational activities
– Review late, current, and future project demand and create a plan to meet customer demand
– Identifying cost reduction activities
– agreements to ensure appropriate risk mitigation
– Audit inventory levels daily

General Skills:
– Possesses network understanding
– Able to multitask
– Ability to adapt to a continuously changing working environment
– Ability to understand and anticipate technical issues
– Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions
– Ability to pass all background checks and pre-employment tests

All applicants applying for job opening must be authorized to work in the United States, must be a US Lawful Permanent Resident, must be legal age 21+.

If you want to work in an environment where customer service is our passion, please write back to this E-mail

Oh, yeah, like I’m going to believe that. No company logo, no signature which identifies the sender, and best of all, an address @aol.com. Uh, huh. You’re for real, not.

But I was feeling annoyed, and sent back this reply:

On 2014-Mar-06, at 02:11 , TRS Staffing Solutions <ClareSowersbyca@aol.com> wrote:

[Much blather deleted]

Did you seriously expect that I would reply to your message, given its incredibly dubious appearance? Your “From:” may be “TRS Staffing Solutions”, but you have an “ClareSowersbyca@aol.com” mail address! The only business that should have an address at “aol.com” is AOL. Had your message originated at “trsstaffing.com”, I may have been enticed to inquire.

And, in the body of your message, you did not include any contact information. “Please write back to this E-mail” has several problems:

1. “E-mail”: Duh. What else could it be? And accepted spellings of this word are “e-mail” or “email”; there is no capital “E”.

2. “write back”: use the word “reply”; it’s shorter and precise. No mail client with which I am familiar has a “write back” command.

3. “where customer service is our passion”: I care not for your passion; I care for mine.

As for the job itself:

“No Relocation required”, yet you do not know what my location is. Where I live, you’re not there.

“Possesses network understanding”. English isn’t your first language, is it? “Possess an understanding of computer networking” might be a better description.

“Ability to define problems, collect data, establish facts, and draw valid conclusions”: The problem is your poor presentation of this alleged job. I collected data on TRS Staffing Solutions, and I draw the valid conclusion that you are NOT a representative of that organization.

And one more observation: “turbulent career”? You don’t even know what “turbulent” means! Anyone looking for a “turbulent” job is an idiot (at least, in my opinion).

Phfft! Phooey! Ditch this spammy scam, and get a real job.

Chris

P.S. And where is the signature on *your* message, “Clare”?


Elf Odin, TechRen Enterprises
ElfOdin@techren.com

I feel much better now.

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